Non Violent Communication Zine
Infinite Relationships; Relationships without Bounds or Boundaries, love without limits or ends
Hey guys! I’m a day late, sorry about that.
So this week the topic is first times… and I honestly don’t really want to go into my first relationships and all that. Instead, how about my first kiss(es)?
So my first kiss with a girl, as my mother loves to recount, was technically when I was two years old. My family was on vacation in Massachusetts, and a girl ran up to me and bit me- hard!- right on the cheek. I guess I didn’t cry, but I my mom says I looked pretty stunned. The girl’s mom came up to us, and apologized profusely. She explained that biting was how her daughter kissed. I guess she thought I was a pretty cute 2 year old!
My first real kiss with a girl was with my first (and only) girlfriend in high school. Not such an exciting story, just a peck on the lips in front of my house, but it did take my almost a year after we started dating to kiss her. Gay? I think so. Also, unbeknownst to me, her dad could see us kissing from the car. Oops… luckily he’s always loved me like a son, so it wasn’t a big deal. Her and I are still best friends now, and its pretty hilarious to remember us dating.
My first boy kiss was with my first boyfriend, my junior year of high school. I met him on the swim team (a pretty good sport to meet gay guys in, just fyi), and one day when we were watching a movie at his house, we kissed! It felt so different and more exciting from kissing a girl, it was a really important moment in coming to terms with my sexuality. The fireworks flew, so to speak. That time, though, we were soon interrupted by his cousin knocking on the door… lol.
Well, I hope you all enjoy your weekend, and to my fellow Americans, enjoy your long weekend!
Namaste,
Ian
Today we honor the birthday of Harvey Milk, one of our community’s most influential activists and most passionate leaders.
Milk stood up for equality for LGBT people when few had given it a passing thought. He organized thousands of people, many of whom had nowhere else to turn, around a common cause. He was one of many invaluable founders of the gay rights movement as we know it, and I am certain the world would be a different, more hurtful place had it not been for his courage and leadership.
At the site above, brought to you by the Harvey Milk Foundation, you can learn more about different remembrance events taking place across the country or brainstorm ways to get involved. Today’s an important day, and we should honor it.
What will you do?
So this past year has been a big one for firsts for me. I dated my first man in the past year, I’d been a person that someone used to cheat on another person with for the first time as well. I wouldn’t recommend that but I want to talk about a first that happened this weekend. I attended the Bamboozle Music Festival for the first time this past weekend.
It was pretty awesome! I got to see Skrillex, The Maine, NeverShoutNever, All American Rejects, DJ Prime, Brand New, and BON JOVI! It was pretty awesome, especially since we all got complimentary vendor wristbands and none of us had to pay for a damn thing! I’ll start with Friday.
Friday was the start of the festival, I had school in the morning and made my way to work after school. I kept talking about how I wanted to see Skrillex pretty badly all day basically. Around 7:30 my manager was all, “I’m taking the vendor pass and am gonna go on break, I’ll be back before 10:30 so we’re ready for when everyone comes out. There’s an extra wristband for today in the back, I don’t want to play favorites or anything but no one else has said they want to see Skrillex. You just need to be back by 10:30.” So that was how I was able to get into Day 1 of the festival! I wound up meeting up with one of my friends by accident and she was a drunk mess, she almost threw up but I held her hair back and rubbed her back and she didn’t throw up! She then told me all about the Bacardi in her bag that we wound up sharing, and I got a little tipsy in public which was a first as well. We were dancing like crazy, I ground all up on her, I ground on some girl’s mom, and watched my friend start dancing and making out with some random guy. I was pretty jealous to be honest so I found this really cute guy and did something I never ever have done: I went up to a complete stranger, entirely guessing as to what his orientation was, and started flirting. He actually turned out to be gay, but was very much taken. Ultimate sadness. I don’t think I have any photos from Day 1. Oh wait, I took a picture with a guy who had a penis attached to his beanie hat:
Day 2, I also hadn’t planned to go in. But I got off of my first job early and had some time to kill so I asked if the vendor pass was available, and it was, so I took it. Being a manager certainly has it’s perks because we got priority over the pass, but we were very good about sharing. I met up with a couple of friends and took some pictures with them. One was very very drunk, and after the festival she found me and went, “I’m sober now, and there’s a picture of us on my phone. When did we take it?” It was pretty hilarious. I wore a really deep V-neck that day which is something I never do really, but I had bought it earlier in the week and this is the picture that we took together: 
I also had my first red bull ever!
I got a pretty awesome tan line that day.
Day 3 was probably the most exciting day for me, mainly because I was determined to see Bon Jovi. I had several plans to get in without having to pay anything, but I also didn’t want to use the one vendor pass we had at work because I had used it twice already and there was a girl who hadn’t used it. So I came in and helped open a bit and while I’m outside selling sunglasses and jewelry and such at our table another manager comes out to me and shows me this card. She got the card and met the VP of LiveNation, the Bamboozle coordinating group. Later in that day we got Vendor passes delivered for our entire staff. I got off work at 7 and bolted to the main stage where I got to see Brand New, and get as close to the front of the stage as I could because Bon Jovi was on after them to close out the entire festival! I couldn’t believe that I was going to see him, I was like a little girl. It was absolutely ridiculous. I managed to get to the second or so row for his show. 
And then this happened:
That washed out white guy in the blue jacket is Bon Jovi. A few moments later he was right on the baracade and I touched his chest. My first time seeing Bon Jovi and I not only got to the front, I touched him. My night was pretty much made at that point and it couldn’t have gotten any better. When I went by work to get my stuff after the festival one of my coworkers comes up to me and goes. “You wanted a ticket to Barstool Blackout, right?” and I was like, “Yeah.” SHE GOT ME A COMP TICKET FOR IT! It was so boss! I basically would have done anything to have gone to this after party, like I almost tweeted “Will suck dick for Bar stool Blackout Tickets” it was that serious. So I got into that and loved it, I wound up sitting off in one of the stadium seats though, the dance floor was populated by a lot of obnoxious young kids and straight guys. They were pretty annoying to be honest. I wish I had gotten tickets to the Skrillex after party on Friday.
But yeah, this weekend was filled with a lot of exciting firsts. Now I can’t wait for the Counter.Point festival in September in Georgia. It’ll be my first out of state festival and first time travelling 5+ hours to go to a show. It’ll be my first time camping at a music festival for three days. It’ll be my first time seeing Pretty Lights, Bassnectar, and Avicii. Skrillex will also be there. But yeah, goes to show that while you may not plan for certain things, life can get pretty spontaneous and exciting.
NJ Pride is just two weeks away!
 |
Anonymous asked:
Recently I've been feeling really upset because I have never been close to a guy. No guy has approached me or flirted with me. And every day I just crave more and more for sex. I keep seeing how most guys have sex at ages as early as 15 and 18 and still a virgin in every sense of the word. I've never been kissed or remotely close to it. Is it bad for me to feel upset about this kind of stuff or...?
Get yourself out there if you want a guy go get him sometimes sitting around and waiting for the right guy to come by isn’t the best way to go. (believe me) It’s all about timing it will come yet it doesn’t hurt to hurry things up and go on a man hunt :D -Ricky |
This week you guys wanted us to talk about our first times. First Kiss, First Boyfriend, and other first if we are willing to share.
When you look at my excessive use of technology and the internet, I am a pro stalker. If there is info I want to find out, I will find it, without a doubt. A guy I was seeing’s ex didn’t like me, so I found out his entire high school career info and grades and when his grandfather died. Congratulations on 11th chair Symphonic Orchestra, bitch. But I have this awkward third eye that allows me to pick up and read anything I need to and know when things are different. Technology is my one weakness when it comes to relationships. It’s how I found out my ex was cheating on me, four times :(, it’s how I know when people are messing with me, and it is how I get hurt. I always find out what I am not supposed to know via technology. It has been a blessing in disguise as well. If it hadn’t been for the internet and smart phones, I wouldn’t have been cheated on but I then again I wouldn’t have found out either. You just have to know how to moderate it but use it to protect yourself.
When it comes to Grindr, I think it could be a very useful tool for whatever purpose you are using it for. I found the sweetest, most genuine man through Grindr. I have ever really used it to hook up with people though. I had it on my phone while I was in college because it sent out a big red flag to people at my University that I was gay. I only answered maybe two message the whole time, one being to the guy I saw for a while. I spend way too much time studying and in class to go on dates and find people, so the app was a great way to build a social network. But back to this man, this sweet, sweet, selfless man that I met. We had a connection for sure, without a doubt. So the app served it’s purpose without the intention of a hook up. So once again, you have to use the technology in moderation, who knows what the outcome might be.
As for promiscuity, it is all to prevalent and prominent in our culture without technology. Through in an ass getting app, and you have the greatest promiscuous minority on the planet. But to each their own, again. If that is what you are looking for, by all means, get you some, I am not one to judge. Just make sure that the person you are being promiscuous isn’t looking for something more. The last thing you need to do is hurt someone by living your life, because at that point, you aren’t just living your life, you are connecting with someone else as well.
I am glad to be back on board, captain.
William.
So I know it has been a long time since anyone has heard from me but here’s the DL:
I am continuing with Chemical Engineering and the curriculum is more intense than any other major that a university has to offer. On top of that, I attend one of the original Ivy League schools. Even more so, I pulled a fucking “A” in an accounting class. My university has the number one accounting school in the nation, so suck on that. All that set aside, in the last 48 hours, I have taken and passed my Calculus final, drove to College Station where I attended my sister’s Graduation with Honor’s, “Gig ‘Em”, and successfully moved back home with all of my stuff to Houston, where I will be residing through out my surgery and recovery. All that set aside, I am fully aware that I slacked hardcore when it came to this blog, but for the rest of the summer, my entire life will be all about this blog and Diablo III. So prepare. I am back, and I have missed all of you so very much.
Sincerely,
William
Brandon here, and I’m back from (what has it been?) a two week haitus. But today I’m PROMISING that I will do a video when I get home from working both of my jobs today. I’ve been feeling pretty bleh in the past two weeks, but this weekend I’m feeling absolutely great! It must be the shift toward warmer weather here in New Jersey that’s going on.
But I will be back with a relatively long video explaining a bunch of things and answering this question of the week.
This week’s question for us gays is: How has technology affected our relationships?
I’ve met a lot of amazing people online. Do you guys remember espin-the-bottle? I don’t even know if it still exists, but it was a chat room for teens. I met some gay guys on it in high school, and it was nice to have someone else gay to talk to when I literally didn’t know anyone else who wasn’t straight. However, as parents are fond of telling us age-of-technology-babies, people online aren’t necessarily who they seem to be. I mean, maybe there aren’t that many old men (or cats) posing as teens, but even a teenager can put on a fake personality online. I’ve had good experiences with making friends online, but others have taught me that not everyone is trustworthy or 100% honest.
Lately I have been thinking way more than what I should be. I miss my life, I miss my friends. So many different lives have touched mine and I regret letting them all go so easily. I feel like I may have actually found someone who is not like the others. Of course there is problems throughout any relationship. However not every person gives me this feeling of absolute stability. I had convinced myself at one point that I was content with being on my own. Before I met you. I can’t let someone go that I feel that I am truly in love with. I will not allow myself to lose one more person. I have been every emotion in the book and things do happen for a reason. They happen to see if that is how you will let your story end. This is not the end of our story. I’m choosing to stay along your side through the most painful experience of my life that you are the reason for, as a way to show you how different I am. The future comes day by day. We can’t put it off we can’t push away what we think will be in our futures. There is obvious a reason why I’m here. Stop scaring yourself from something that is real. I’m in love, I don’t expect you to be on the same level as me at all. I do expect you to stop choosing to except not looking at your future. It’s important and so are the people you see in it. I’ll miss you everyday until your mine again. 3
When it comes to finding dates, some of us gay guys can have a pretty hard time. Living in the age of the internet has made it easier for some of us, but harder for others; technology seems to be a double-edged sword for finding relationships.
On the negative side, the internet as a whole and has put some unrealistic expectations on looks, relationship interests, and a slew of other things.
Honestly, I’m not into the whole promiscuity thing. I don’t enjoy hook ups and I’ve never really been a “flirt,” so that whole scene has really been lost on me. I have, however, been on the receiving end of the downsides to that scene. With so many guys looking specifically for that kind of interaction, I became extremely discouraged that I’d ever find anyone that I could be in a relationship with. Don’t get me wrong, if you like sex any way you can get it and you find someone looking for the same, more power to you; I think I’m more jealous of your sex drive than anything. As for the whole nude-trading, I’ve done it a couple times, but that’s not really my thing either. I won’t shame anyone for desiring sex, nor do I think anyone should be shamed for it.
I think there’s a few problems with this whole technology and dating thing, though. For starters, I think for all of the possibilities it offers, it can become discouraging really quick. When you put yourself and interests out there, a lot of people tend to turn off to any differences without giving a person a chance. “Oh he likes the music I hate and hates the music I like… DENIED!” While music interests might have a slight part in your compatibility, it doesn’t (and shouldn’t) define a relationship. Granted, not everyone cares about music that much, but it ties into other interests as well.
Another problem is the vanity of the online realm. This isn’t to say people being shallow wasn’t a problem before, but the internet tends to exploit it by leaps and bounds. I think a lot of guys are guilty of completely shrugging a decent looking guy off because they notice these super model-looking guys just the next picture over.
Dating sites incorporate the two, major issues above into one, but I don’t think it defines a problem with the dating site; this is more a problem with the lack of popular hookup sites. It may seem counter-intuitive because we like to shame promiscuous behavior and there’s potential to be shady characters lurking there, but dating sites seem to be overly flooded with people looking for this because they might feel they have no other place to go.
I can’t be too hard on the whole online thing, though. Overall it’s done more to help people find relationships than it has done harm to the image or potential of relationships. Hell, my boyfriend found me online and that’s amazing! I would never have known he even existed even though he lives close by if it wasn’t for the net.
Anyways, that’s my view on the subject. There’s been some good and bad to come of it, but it’s there and we have to adapt to it; it ain’t going anywhere! As always, if you need anything or have something you’d like to say on the topic, send it our way and we’ll give it some attention.
Until next time,
Day
So my laptop is broken haven’t been online at all this week I’m at the public library typing this. My parental unit decided that since my computer is broken and being fixed it should be a good time for me to take a break from the internet….. WRONG …. Well I’ve been reading a lot more which is good I get my laptop by the end of the week so expect me to still post this week !!
-RICKY :]<3
Hey guys so this week you guys want us to talk about: Technology and the inpact it has on our relationships and hoock ups. Thoughts on hoock ups on sites? Grinder? trading nudes with people online? the promiscuity that technology supports.
-The guys at gay world.
